When Reconciliation Does Not Work

Two messages in the last month and a half have addressed the topic of reconciliation (Peace in the Blended Family, Advent - Peace) in which I urged people to move towards relationships that have been damaged with a heart for peace. My great concern in addressing this topic is the ease in which Christians today discard or push away from a relationship without the necessary effort to reconcile and work through differences. They will talk to others about their grievances but not to the right people and then distance is created and hard feelings linger. No matter how painful it is to sort through the wreckage, I believe God is greatly glorified by healed relationships. It testifies to the reconciling God of the gospel.

Nevertheless, there are instances where reconciliation between parties may not work. Consider the follow examples...

• A sexually abusive father towards his teenage daughter - Though she will need to release her desire for taking her own vengeance (Rom. 12:19; 1 Pet. 2:23), and forgive her father when he asks repentantly (Mt. 18:21-35), reconciliation of the relationship may never occur especially if the father is impenitent.
  
• A destructive family member - There are situations within families where a member will choose a destructive path in drug abuse, physical abuse, alcoholism, or repeated infidelity that will make reconciliation impossible...or at least until they stop. The manipulative nature of their lifestyles may make separation necessary until they are penitent.
  
• A malicious co-worker - There are some people who are just down-right dangerous and must be guarded against. If they are bent on destroying you, precautions must be made. However, most people have reasons for their aggressions and if you can ascertain the reason, you might be able to reconcile.
  

If we find ourselves in a situation that seems irreconcilable, let us follow the Lord's instruction:

• Be at peace with all men so far as you are able (Rom. 12:14-18). Do everything in your power to reconcile with them. Eliminate offenses that you have caused!
  
• "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." (Luke 6:27-28). I believe Jesus said these things to people who find themselves in a irreconcilable situation. Even in that case, He give us some things to do.

May God grant us divine wisdom to discern the right coarse of action and divine love to make reconciliation possible. "To Him to the glory in the church..." (Eph. 3:21).

Meaning of Advent

“As to this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that would come to you made careful search and inquiry, seeking to know what person or time the Spirit of Christ within them was indicating as He predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories to follow” (1 Pet. 1:10-11).

These Old Testament men yearned to know something about the Messiah and the time of His coming. They yearned for the day when Israel’s glory would return like in the time of King David. Just like their ancestors in the land of Egypt, they cried out for a deliverer to come to free them from their enemies and for Him to reign in righteousness. They did not know what that would look like or what timetable God was on. They just longed for it.

You see the same spirit of anticipation and longing in the NT in the hearts of Simeon and Anna, the two elderly saints who were simply waiting, longing, praying, and fasting for the appearance of the Messiah. Simeon was promised by the Spirit that he would not see death until he had beheld the Messiah. Think of the yearning in his heart that was set ablaze by this. Anna was a woman who never left the temple but continued in serving night and day with fastings and prayers. Look at verse 38. “And at that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.” There were many who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem, the advent of the Lord.

That is what advent means - coming. Advent means the Lord’s coming. Throughout church history, the celebration of Advent spanned the four Sundays leading up to Christmas in which we look back to the OT in order to relive the anticipation for a deliverer. Why? To stir afresh a heart of gratitude for the blessings received in Jesus. It calls to mind the longings in our heart before we were brought to Jesus to find deliverance from sin.

There is another reason to celebrate advent. We, like Israel in the OT, await the Lord’s coming. All is not right. There are many things still left undone and we await the Lord’s return to set things in order and for righteousness to reign.